I Never Make Them Happy

Does it really hard for being an ambitious person? I don’t know. In my whole life, until now, I think I never done an effort to reach for something. I never had a goal in my life, I guess. Just let it flow, I said, everytime there’s something to be achieved.
It’s not good for ourselves right. Sometimes, I was so envy at my friends who had goals in their life and were trying their best to reach those goals, seeing their happy faces it’s so painful to me, how couldn’t I be the same? A lot of examples that ive seen, and it’s just so sad that I never learnt from those.

I think there’s once that I’d been really ambitious to achieve something, now I remembered… I was so happy that finally I got accepted at the best high school in my town, coz I was so fuckin sick and tired with my primary school’s years. That I really didn’t want to apply at the same school for my high school years. In my 3rd year of primary school, yeah I got into a so called superior class from my 2nd year, I studied really hard on my Final Exams, and got a great marks. I remember, I got 9,69 for English. LOL. something to be proud of, since I have nothing to be proud of until now..hahahah… got good marks, and I got accepted in my dream high school. Yeah what a great year that time. But now, as far as I can remember, it’s the only effort that ive done in my life.

I got accepted in this university was, shoud I say, a very big mistake in my entire life? I never wanted to be a dentist, my friend was set me up. I know it’s for good reason, but I have to bare these 4 sick and tired years in pain plus the next 2 and half years for getting a title as a dentist. So I will be in this fuckin university for like 6 and a half years. GREAT.

So guys, the point of my essay is, last Tuesday was a big day for me. In this term I only have one subject to be taken, and of course the S word a.k.a my thesis. The progress of my thesis was not really good, I don’t know, I think this is the end of my endurance. Im so tired , when will I graduate? Yeah ive done my thesis, just some revisions and it’s done, but by the time I finished my thesis, the –what do we call it, session?- for us were finally over, and the next will be held on march 2008!

Whoa…for those who will have their session for graduation, if they still have one subject that failed they have to fix their mark first, the name of the test is a special test. My very big mistake was, since at the beginning I was very sure that I will be graduate on March next year, I wasn’t really serious when taking this test, I studied, still hard, but that kind of feeling just ruined the whole thing. Today I received the mark, and I failed. So daymn failed. And I just knew from a friend that the session was suspended until November 28th which mean I still can get my session that day!!!! This thesis is already 80% done, DAYMN, if only I know they're pending the session, maybe there’ll be a different story. I sent my mom text. And when she called me, I know from her voice she was so disappointed at me. She’s just in a silence, not much talking about the session. Yeah my big mistake, I guess from now on my parent wont be care much about me anymore.

And one thing that came into my mind was, TVXQ concert next month, so many things that they’ve given me, but I never tried to paying them back. Truly, in my whole life, I felt so unworthed as a person . Never make my parent happy. I promise, ,maybe this is not my path, but someday, I will reach my dream in an advertising world and make them proud., I will.